


The Kill (bury me)

by WastedSanity



Series: Everyone Needs a Tim [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Alone, Angst, Depressing, Friendship, Happy, Healing, Loneliness, My first songfic to be exact, Songfic, This probably sucks but I was inspired, Tim needs a hug, forgotten, happiness, idk - Freeform, ish, neglected, poor Tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 15:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12609924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastedSanity/pseuds/WastedSanity
Summary: He was tired of being here.Tired of living in this gloomy city.Tired of watching from the sidelines as what was supposed to be his family went on without him.A.K.AAU Where the Batfam sucks and Tim is left all alone.





	The Kill (bury me)

**Author's Note:**

> So, in my last chapter I promise Robin and Titan piles... 
> 
> I lied.
> 
> Woops.
> 
> Instead I’m giving you this mess.
> 
> I don’t own the characters from Batman and Teen Titans and whoever the heck else is in here.
> 
> (Also, I don’t own the song huehuehue)
> 
> Enjoy<3

{What if I wanted to break  
Laugh it all off in your face  
What would you do?}

He was tired. So, so tired. 

Distantly, a voice in his head tells him that he needs to get up, get dressed, and go to work.

He needs to go and run WE, because Bruce hasn’t taken it back yet. The man hasn’t come to take the last thing tying Tim to him- and Tim isn’t sure if he’s grateful or not.

Heck, he’s barely spoken to Tim since he’s been back. Tim, the only one who believed he was still alive. Tim, the one who Dick was about to send to Arkham. Tim, the one who brought him back.

Tim, the one who is so, so tired.

But he is still expected to keep going, keep fighting as Red Robin. 

The thought of going back out and fighting crime almost drew him to tears, it made him want to throw the uniform away. He wanted to march up to that manor that doesn’t welcome him anymore, wants to toss the outfit at their door and laugh and cry and scream.

Because he is so, so tired.

.

{What if I fell to the floor  
Couldn't take all this anymore  
What would you do, do, do?}

.

All Tim can feel right now is the numb.

‘This isn’t that big of a deal.’ His mind whispers to him, ‘It’s just a meal. Not even the first time you haven’t been invited.’

And he knows that.

Knows that it’s just an overly large meal, not a big deal- except that everyone else in the Bat family had attended, and Tim- Tim hadn’t even been invited.

He had spent Thanksgiving day eating cold take out leftovers.

The coldness continues creeping through his system, chilling his insides. But Tim welcomes the numbness. 

Because just for a moment, Tim doesn’t want to feel the tears that slip down his cheeks. Doesn’t want to feel the sadness that brings them on.

Tim is so, so tired.

.

{Come, break me down}

.

“Drake, I thought when you said you were leaving you meant permanently. I suppose it was too much to hope for.”

.

{Bury me, bury me}

.

“You’re just a replacement- Bruce didn’t choose you. You barged in and were too stubborn to leave.”

.

{I am finished with you}

.

His suit case was on his bed, already half full, before he forces himself to stop. 

He can’t leave Gotham, this city needs him. He can’t be so selfish and abandon the people who need help.

Slowly-ignoring the pain in his heart-he begins to unpack the suitcase.

.

{What if I wanted to fight  
Beg for the rest of my life  
What would you do?}

.

Being with the Titans in San Francisco was a stark contrast to being with the Bats in Gotham.

Here, he actually looked forward to getting into his uniform to fight with them. He felt at home with them, never being afraid to barge in whenever he felt like it. 

Because people here actually wanted his company.

They always asked after his health, mentally and physically, and it actually took quite a bit of restraining on his part to keep Kon and Bart from speeding off to go Gotham when he told them what it’s been like.

“They can’t treat you like that, Tim!” Kon had shouted, anger flashing across his features. “If they refuse to acknowledge you, then you shouldn’t even go back to them.” Bart added on, the anger in his voice no less present than Kon’s.

After that, it was a struggle to get them to let him go back to Gotham.

.

{You say you wanted more  
What are you waiting for?  
I'm not running from you}

.

Stumbling, he can’t even seem to process his own thoughts as he collapses onto the floor. 

Bruce’s- Batman’s- voice is still ringing in his ears, condemning him for never being around when they need him. 

He had told him that if he wasn’t at the manor, then his use was significantly decreased.

‘Why why why? Why would I want to go back to a place where I feel like such an outcast?!’ He had wanted to scream at the man, but he just bit his tongue and apologized. Silently taking all of the harsh and emotionless words thrown his way.

If Bruce would call him, he would come running to help, but he didn’t. And even though Bruce was saying that he was a lot less useful, there was no offer made for him to come back to the manor.

Tim felt like something chipped away inside, and he felt cold.

.

{Come, break me down}

.

Bruce had dumped so much case work onto him, asked him to decode so many programs-

.

{Bury me, bury me}

.

Christmas passed in a blur of WE paper work and drug ring busts, and Tim found himself lying on the floor mourning the loss of a welcoming family that only seemed to exist in his memories-

.

{I am finished with you}

.

His bag was partially packed again, but the same thought as last time stopped him. He can’t be selfish, he can’t-

.

{Look in my eyes}

.

Batman was harshly reprimanding him for not being more careful and not warning Damian about the shooter, but hadn’t he seen? There was no way he could’ve warned the boy in time. His first instinct was to move into the line of fire-

.

{You're killing me, killing me}

.

The case work was piling up, the files an almost suffocating presence in his life. Bruce had demanded he get them done faster, but Tim had to sleep, had to eat... Didn’t he?

He was so tired-

.

{All I wanted was you}

.

All Tim had ever wanted was a family, a family where he was accepted and loved. He had thought- god he had been so stupid- he had thought he could’ve had that with Bruce and Dick and Alfred and Cass and Barbara and-

.

{I tried to be someone else  
But nothing seemed to change  
I know now, this is who I really am inside}

.

He was tired of being here.

Tired of living in this gloomy city.

Tired of watching from the sidelines as what was supposed to be his family went on without him.

He couldn’t do this anymore. Yes, he has saved many people, but isn’t it alright, just this once, for him to save himself?

The knock at his window almost seemed like an answer to his internal question, and he turned to see Kon standing there, an encouraging smile on his lips.

Bruce had sent him another case, but Tim only replied with a ‘Get someone else to do it’ before shutting his laptop down.

Rushing forward, Tim quickly undid the locks and threw his windows open, his fully packed suitcase already in hand.

.

{I've finally found myself  
Fighting for a chance  
I know now, this is who I really am}

.

“Are they still trying to contact you?” Cassie asks, eyes narrowing on the almost constantly ringing phone, and Tim just shrugs. “Yep, it seems they can’t get it through their heads that I left.” The former Robin hums, bringing a small smile to those sitting around him. 

They were so, so happy that Tim finally left that awful situation.

“Alright, now who’s ready for Monopoly!” Beast boy yells, breaking them all from the moment and pumping a fist into the air.

Tim would’ve declined, but he was being thrown over Kon’s shoulder before he could even say a word. 

“You are not getting out of this.” Bart says with a laugh, and Tim just tilts his head enough to mock glare at the speedster. Though, sadly, the effect was ruined by the smile threatening to spread across his lips.

Tim was happy.

.

{Come, break me down}

.

“How did we not notice that we were neglecting Tim? Oh god, we have to get him back-“

.

{Bury me, bury me}

.

“I’m gonna toss this thing out the window now, kay?” Bart says, Tim’s phone in hand, and at everyone’s cheers, he winds up and sends it off into the ocean.

 

.

{I am finished with you, you, you}

.

“He’s totally ignoring us now. This is it, we’ve ruined everything-“

.

{Look in my eyes}

.

“Aren’t we too old to go trick or treating?” Tim asks, watching Kiran reach up to feel the cat ears on his head, but Tim is quick to slap her hands away. “Oh please, now you’re asking? After you already made the tail and ears that move according to your emotions?” Kon asks sarcastically, adjusting his Superman costume as he looks at himself in the mirror.

“Oi, don’t hate on them. They act like a normal cat’s, just as they should.” Tim snaps back, huffing as he adjusts the fake- but not cheap, no, these things acted like real teeth- fangs in his mouth. “You look like a cosplayer.” The boy of steel says, and just like that Tim is launching himself at the clone, much to the amusement of the others.

.

{You're killing me, killing me}

.

“God, all the cases he had completed in such a short span of time, did he ever even sleep-?”

.

{All I wanted was you}

.

All Tim had wanted was a family, and now he’s found his. People who don’t exclude him, don’t ridicule him, but instead raise him up-

.

{Come, break me down}

.

“Oh, you’re such a lovely boy- Why has Conner never brought you around before?” Ma Kent asks, and Tim can’t help the way his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “I-I guess I’ve been pretty busy.” The former Robin says, and the older lady just clicks her tongue in annoyance. 

“Well, you should definitely come around more. You’re a good influence on Conner. Just in the days you’ve been here he’s already been so well behaved. Not that he isn’t normally, but it’s like he’s calmed down with you here.” She hums, before turning to him with a look that speaks of conspiracy. “You know what? You two would make a wonderful cou-“ “-MA!” A voice shrieks, and Tim can’t help bursting out into laughter.

.

{Break me down}

.

The mood at the Wayne Thanksgiving table that year was bright and happy, but underneath all of that, everyone could feel the guilt and sadness at the loss of one of their family members.

.

{Break me down}

.

“‘M gonna to puke.” Tim groans, and Kon laughs at his fetal position. “Maybe you should take a nap, sleep it off.” The clone suggests, knowing that he’s exhausted, but the teenager just shakes his head. “I don’t want to sleep during a holiday. Don’t wanna miss anything.” Tim slurs, but his eyes are already sliding shut. “I’ll wake you up in a little bit, or even sooner if anything interesting happens.” The boy of steel promises, adjusting Tim so that the boy’s head is laying in his lap.

All he receives is an unintelligible slur of what might’ve once been words.

.

{What if I wanted to break?}

.

“You’re never gonna come back, are you?” Dick asks, his head tilted up to watch the sky. Tim just sighs and runs a tired hand down his face. “It’ll never be the same, Dick. After what happened... If I hadn’t had the Titans to help me...” the younger former Robin trails off, and the man nods.

“We have no right to try and force you to come back, either. You deserve to be happy, Tim. And I don’t want to take that away from you anymore than I already have.” Dick sighs, causing the teenager’s lips to quirk up a bit. 

“Maybe one day I’ll find it in myself to go back, but right now all I feel when I think of that place is the loneliness I felt. And here I don’t feel that. I’m happy.” Tim says, and the man gives a sad smile at his words.

“It’ll never be the same as before, but... Maybe one day we can start earning your trust back.” Dick says, and Tim hums, mulling over the idea in his head.

“I’ll look forward to it.”

.

{What if I, what if I, what if I (bury me, bury me)}

**Author's Note:**

> Song: The Kill (bury me) by Thirty Seconds to Mars
> 
> I’ve been obsessed with that song lately, and I figured that a sad Tim would fit it pretty well ^v^
> 
> Anyways, I do have the chapter with all the cuddles being written, but I’ve kinda lost motivation for it so...
> 
> Eh.
> 
> It’ll probably appear one day.
> 
> School is kicking my butt like whoa.
> 
> ~I am shameless~
> 
> ...Don’t forget to leave a comment and/or kudo..?<3
> 
> Thanks for reading! I love you all!


End file.
